Here I am sharing some extracts from the book Secrets of relationships by H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. I think it will answer many of our questions that we face and could not Find an appropriate answer of them.
Why we are jealous of the person we love? Here is its answer....
"Love! Love is responsible for all our negative emotions!! If there were no love on this planet, then there wouldn't have been any problems at all- nobody would ever be jealous, nobody would ever be greedy, no
one would ever get angry at anything. Anger, greed, jealousy- all the negative emotions we've experienced, are all fruits of love.
How can you be jealous without loving! Impossible! You love perfection, and so you're angry at imperfection- you cannot stand imperfection. But, no one ever wants these "fruits". They want love in its purity, in its perfection."
And What is TRUST???
"Trust... To understand trust, you must know what doubt is. Without knowing doubt, you cannot grow in trust- Its Impossible!
If you dont have trust- never mind! Do you have doubt? Have you looked at the doubt that you have? Have you observed the doubt, you have? Its very interesting.... You always doubt something that is positive! If someone tells you, "I love you very much!" - you ask him (or her), "Really?" If someone tells you, "I hate you!" - you never ask "Really"! You doubt your capabilities- you never doubt your incapabilities. You are sure of what you cannot do, but you doubt what you can do! Isn't it?"
"It is very important to know about interpersonal relationships- what keeps them going- and what really disturbs them.
Interpersonal relationships get disturbed, when disagreement begins. As long as there is agreement, they don't get disturbed at all. So what disturbs a relationship?
Disagreement.
Now take a look at yourself. Have you always agreed with yourself?
You have not agreed. You had an idea yesterday and today, you have a different idea! five years back, you had different ideas, and they did not necessarily agree with the ideas, you have today. So, when you can have a disagreement with yourself, why not with someone else, next to you?! The person, with whom you have a disagreement, is just an old photocopy of your own self, a copy of your old self- or may be even a new copy!"
Now why do we love anybody, and how we get into it, when Love and relationships have so many complications?? But its we only who make relationships easy or complicated.
"First comes attraction. You are attracted to someone- but, if you get, what you are attracted to, very easily, the charm goes away- it dies out very fast. However, if what you are attracted to, becomes just a little bit difficult to have, then you develop love for it. Have you experienced it?
Now you fall in love!! Then what happens?
After a while, the soap opera begins!
It is because you love someone, that you give yourself- and then you start making demands on that relationships. Now, when you start demanding, love diminishes. All the thrill, joy-everything-seems to be fading away. So then you say, "Oh! I have made a mistake!". Now there is struggle and pain to get out of it. And after you've got out of it, you get into another relationship- one more relationship- and the same story repeats itself!
Three things are essential in any relationship
-right perception
-right observation and
-right expression
Relationship should be treated as the dessert, not as the main course! If your life is aimed at some goal, if there is some goal in your life, some aim in your life, then you move in that direction.... and the relationship will move along. If all your focus is just on relationship I tell you, that is when it will not work....and it doesn't work! You cannot have dessert for your main course. See, if you have a goal in your life, and if both of you have the same goal, you will move along in that direction.
Then, that relationship lasts long.
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